"The Birds"

For the past two springs, we have had barn swallows make a mud nest high above our front porch. At first it was fun to watch them. There are many that take part in building the nest. Then the birds take turns sitting on the eggs and before too long there are chirping noises and little heads sticking out of the nest. Finally, there are so many birds flying around that you can't tell which ones are the babies and then one day they don't return. The nest falls down eventually and we sweep it all away.

The main problem is that the nest is above the front door and the bird droppings pile up making it very gross for visitors. In the past I have tried hosing down the porch every day and strategically placing newspaper to catch the droppings and changing it every day. Well, it's like having a litter box by your front door.

This year we were determined to prevent them from building their nest. Twice a day we have power sprayed the bits of mud that have accumulated. (Did I mention that our porch is 20 feet high?) Zach climbed a very tall ladder and installed a fake owl at the top of the porch to scare the birds away. This strategy worked for about 2 days but then the birds deduced that the owl was no threat and they continued with their nest building while occasionally perching on the owl's head. After washing down their efforts for a few more days I noticed that they were not rebuilding it so I assumed that I had the better of them and was finally rid of the persistent little things. That was until... I noticed they had built a nest on top of the owl's head! Next year we are installing wire mesh closing off the upper porch. Anyone want to volunteer to climb the ladder? I don't have anyone here too excited about it.